The words fire department make it sound like they're the ones who are starting fires, doesn't it? It should be called "Extinguishing Department". We don't call the police the "Crime Department". Also, the "Bomb Squad" sounds like a terrorist gang.

 

Word Play

In a nursery rhyme Mary had a little lamb, we think of a small animal, but in the comic version Mary had a little lamb, some rice and vegetables, we think of a small amount of meat. Why are trees often mistaken for dogs? -------Because of their bark. (Outer covering of a tree; sound made by a dog)

English is a crazy language

There is no butter in buttermilk, no grape in grapefruit. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England, nor French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweet-breads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?  

Why is it that a woman can man a station but a man can't woman one, that a man can father (responsibility for something to) a movement but a woman can't mother one, and that a king rules a kingdom but a queen doesn't rule a queendom?

If olive oil is made from olives, what do they make baby oil from?  If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.  But fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, hammers don't ham.

If a firefighter fights fire, what does a freedom fighter fight?

How can valuable objects be less valuable than invaluable ones?

 

Let's look at a number of familiar English words and phrases that turn out to mean the opposite or something very different from what we think they mean:

A waiter.  Why do they call those food servers waiters, when it's the customers who do the waiting?

A non-stop flight.  You'll never get down.

Extraordinary.  If extra-fine means "even finer than fine" and extra-large "even larger than large," why doesn't extraordinary mean "even more ordinary than ordinary"?  

We don't pick up the phone; we pick up the receiver.

The bus goes back and forth between the terminal and the airport. Again we find mass confusion about the order of events.  You have to go forth before you can go back.

Put your best foot forward.  Now let's see.... We have a good foot and a better foot -- but we don't have a third -- and best -- foot.  It's our better foot we want to put forward. 

May the best team wins.  Usually there are only two teams in the contest.

That's why first-degree murder is more serious than third-degree murder but a third-degree burn is more serious than a first-degree burn.

You fill in a form by filling out a form.

 

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this lecture, I end it.